Monday, November 11, 2013

Google and Shallots

I bought shallots last week.
I am not sure why.
If I have ever eaten a shallot, I didn't know it.

I have never cooked with a shallot.
I don't have a recipe that requires a shallot.
I don't even own real "cookbooks" that would tell me what to do with a shallot.

So that is how I ended up awake at 3am one night,
Googling, "What can I make with a shallot?"

And apparently they are like an onion, but not an onion.
Mostly people like to caramelize them, which I am all for.
I learned how to properly caramelize onions this summer. (it is a long process, but oh so worth it.)
I may or may not have eaten two ginormous onions that I caramelized.
I have no regrets.

But now, now my Google search has that embarrassing fact forever etched in my
digital footprint. I am sure someone at Google or the NSA is going,
"HA! What a bonehead! She bought a shallot and doesn't even know what to do with it."

I am disturbed by the Google Search History.
It's like a diary of all the stupid things we are too embarrassed to ask our fellow humans.

Google Search: Are sheep and lambs the same thing?
Google Search: What is the difference between a disease and a disorder?
Google Search: How do I read my cholesterol test results?
Google Search:  Amanda Bynes (oh yes! I did! I had to see her freakish new face!)
Google Search: Calories in a Costco Hot Dog? (don't do it, just don't.)
Google Search: Are Sequoias and Redwoods the same?
Google Search: How to zoom in on firefox? (shut up, I forgot, ok?) 
Google Search: Where does dew come from? (my kids are no longer satisfied with, 'God made it')
Google Search: How old is Pat Sajak? 
Google Search: Pee Smell in Bathroom
Google Search: Football Girdle
Google Search:  Substitute for______. There are literally tons of these in my search history. I think the sheer volume of pumpkin spice substitutes I have googled should be a clear indicator that I need to just buy some dang pumpkin spice.

And worst of all, I am too scared to search the one most helpful thing...
"How do I clear my Google Search History?"

So, I am off to search "Nancy O'Dell's plastic surgery."
I figure at this point, its go big or go home...

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