Apparently I have supremely failed at one area of parenting, and I thought it best to come clean about it now. I suck at being the tooth fairy. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have forgotten, and seen poor Emerson come downstairs with a baggy containing one slightly bloody tooth, and a look of sheer disappointment.
Oh, I have been able to cover my mistakes before...
first tooth he lost, when I forgot for the SECOND night in a row, I
thought quick on my feet, and said, "Are you sure you looked good? Maybe
the money got lost under all those dogs you sleep with!" Sure enough
after a carefully planted dollar bill, and telling him he probably got
to keep the tooth as a bonus for having to wait, he was all good. There
have been similar incidents since, including one where Em lost two
teeth in one week. I remembered the first one, but forgot the second. I
told him I was pretty sure the Tooth Fairy would never think a kid
would lose TWO teeth in one week, and to try again the next night. Yep.
Mother of the Year right here baby.
Well, this week... the magic ran out. He lost a tooth Friday at
school. He waited to put it under his pillow until Saturday night, and yep... you
guessed it. The Worst Tooth Fairy EVER forgot. Again. So... he dutifully
put it under again last night. I am guessing he just thinks the Tooth
Fairy is one supreme slacker. So, at roughly 545am, I leapt from the bed
and said, "Oh crap! Tooth Fairy!"
I grabbed a dollar and sneaked
upstairs, made the exchange and snuggled back into my warm bed beside
my Micah. I patted myself on the back for my ability to salvage another
forgotten tooth, and the possible scarring effects it would have on my
middle child. (in case you are wondering, Lincoln never for a moment
believed in the tooth fairy. He thumbed that first-tooth-money and said,
"Dad, are you the tooth fairy? Tell me the truth!" It was a fun 12 hours in the world of make believe...)
Enter Emerson, this morning, all wrapped up in a blanket, and peeking around the corner at me.
Me: Did the Tooth Fairy leave come last night?
Em: No YOU did.
Me: Huh? I, I...
Em: I saw your hand Mom.
Me: What do you mean?
He then went on to explain that he he knew it was me, because a
friend had recently told him that he found out the tooth fairy was his
own mom. I thought I was off the hook, since it was not technically my
fault, until he said, "I knew that was at his house, but I thought at
our house the real one still came. Until I saw your hand." Dangit.
I asked him if he was sad about it, and as only Emerson can do he
proclaimed, "Well, you lied to me this whole time..." Nice. Well played
Em. Parent guilt level through the roof. I am pretty sure he will get a nice first car based on this situation alone.
Hopefully by the time
Alden loses any teeth The Worst Tooth Fairy EVER will get her act
together and not scar her child permanently.